Benny! This put a huge smile on my face!

That want god! Do just because he love us

Its simply Beautiful

Um....Before Adam and Eve there was no one!
Second: If one person was made specifically for the other person, how do you explain widows??
Third: God hates divorce, yes, but don't you think God can do something amazing for someone through the pain of divorce? God never wastes any pain and he is constantly building character.

God doesn't bring anyone to anyone. That's a very romantic idea but not biblical. Only happen with Adam and Eve and Mary and Joseph. So point is....it is up to us who we choose as mate. There are too many singles out there waiting and waiting and never find the " one whom God made for them", and these people don't have the gift of singleness because they still long for a spouse.
Now..I do agree that we should work on our selves and strive for purity and allowing God to show us what we can do in our singleness...but again...it's not biblical that God made just one person for each of us and then the others left without a partner will just be single.

BTW: This isn't not advice I just made up...it is from biblical counselors who deal with these issues all the time.

I don't have a paradigm for a God who leaves it "up to us" what is probably one of the most important choices we ever make in our lives. It's just up to us if we are willing to let Him help.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Thanks for this.. To the point and exactly the way God brings my woman into my life :) God bless

I'd be happy if @kentenmd kindly ,quoted Scripture to support his view . Why would God have a plan for everything but, probably one of the most important choice in a person's life? Doesn't make sense. Appreciate the article, thanks.

I agree with @kentenmd that God does, in fact, allow us to choose our spouses. Yes, it's an important decision, and we should be prayerful and ensure that we make a choice within God's parameters. However, another respondent has already included 1 Corinthians 7:39. I'd just emphasis that a widow's option to marry "who she will' means just that...God provides the parameter, "only in the Lord," meaning that he must be a Christian ("Don't be unequally yoked with unbelievers"). I have looked and looked and I still can't find a passage where God told someone "You must marry this person" or even "Here's 'the One'". Abraham sending his chief servant to find a wife for Isaac is as about as close as I have found. For example, God instructed the Old Testament prophet Hosea to marry a prostitute, "Go, take yourself a wife of whoredom" (Ouch!) (Hosea 1:2). God did not say, "Wait until I bring the prostitute Gomer by and then ask her to marry you." Again, God provided the parameter and Hosea complied by picking a prostitute...of his choosing. Lastly, for those that have been widowed and remarry, technically, those people had TWO people walking on the planet at the same time that would eventually be "the One." It is a romantic notion that there is just one, but I believe God actually allows us to use our God-given will to select our spouse, though "many advisers make victory sure." Finally, to "PMB," God does have a plan and God already knows who you'll eventually end up with should you decide to marry. God will be present at you and your mate's initial meeting, courtship, and wedding. His plan includes the two of you, but that doesn't mean that He's decided to choose your mate for you. However, if you're more comfortable with asking God to choose someone for you, as I did after making poor dating choices, I believe He'll do that for you. I married an extraordinary woman of God that I would have missed had I simply continued to use my own "wisdom," issues, and laundry-list of qualities/characteristics that really wouldn't improve our marriage or ministry together had she met all of them.

Wow, Thank you so much, i really needed to read this right now..I will wait on the Lord and lean on his understandings... God bless you Benjamin.

This is beautiful...i so wish God would just tell me who my spouse is, coz clearly i have not met him. None of these people fit, it's like there's a missing puzzle and i know very well that i have not found it yet.

thanks for this post! true, indeed! GOD is in control! :)

Thank you and Amen! I will come back for future updates.

I can see why you're still single. *face palm

Wow you know at times one might think you are crazy. I thank God for using you to bring hope and letting those who believe that they are not crazy, we should wait upon the Lord for he knows what we need.

I am a 37 year-old male, I have never been married. Unfortunately, I have had about 10 sexual-partner over the years, some women I dated for a year or so, a few one-night-stands. I was saved when I was a child, walked away from my faith when I went to college. Spent all of my 20's and early 30's in worldly relationships with women. Now, at the age of 37, I am seeking God's Will for my life, praying that HE will bring me a spouse, a Christian Woman, "The One". - - My question is, do you think that God may have given up on me. Do you think that he is punishing me for my past? I am very tired of being sling, being alone. Over the last 7 years, I have had only one "serious" relationship with a woman, she was a Christian, but again we were engaged in a worldly relationship. What should I do? The only thing I can figure, is I must pray daily, asking for forgiveness, and praying for God's Will for my life, ask HIM to bring me a Christian Woman, a Wife. Do you think she exists? Or, have I screwed up my life for good, and missed my chance?

Schäfer, God will continue to guide you and use you. I can only describe you with this Luke 10:2.

Knowing the will of God is a serious issue in Christian marriage. Many Christians marry without knowing what the will of God is for their marriage. I have heard people say that as long as you do not marry an unbeliever you have fulfilled the will of God for your marriage. No wonder Christian divorce rate is soaring like those of the people of the world.

One of the plans of God for us is that we should not be lonely (Genesis 2:18). In Christianity marriage is a kind of covenant that can only be broken by death without committing adultery (Romans 7:3-4). The perfect will of God is that you marry a particular person that God chooses for you to marry. The Bible says “House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.” (Proverbs 19:14). This scripture is very clear: It says, “a good wife is from the Lord”. It is God that can give you that perfect wife / husband that you need.

First, before thinking of searching, develop relationship with the Holy Spirit through praise, worship, prayer and bible study. Then God will begin to show you many unbelievable revelations (Psalm 25:14).

Second, ask God to give you a wife/husband that will help you fulfil his plan for your life. If you chose a wrong wife/husband you may not reach the height where God has destined for you.

Third, watch out for peace of mind in any relationship. If your heart is full of fear, run away from that relationship because fear is of the devil (1John 4:18).

Fourth, beware of cunning men. If you are in any relationship where the brother or the sister is only interested in knowing everything about you but hardly shares his own life with you, please beware. Or perhaps if you have discovered that he or she lies, also beware; for the devil is a liar and the father of it (John 8:44).

Finally, hold on to God. You might have been searching fruitlessly for that perfect partner (husband or wife) for so long, just like me still believing God, but I want you to know that you still need to hold on to God. Let Him have his way. The scripture says, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning” (James 1:17)

A good wife (husband) is a gift from the Lord. So have faith and hold on to God in prayer because God himself is the source of his perfect will for each one in marriage. You can’t do it yourself because you don’t know the heart of men. The bible says “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? (Jeremiah 17:9).

Some people will never have the feeling that anybody is missing in their life. They are content with being single. Jesus refers to that in Mt 19:12. If you find delight in this statement, you might be one of them. If you get afraid you might be one of them, don't worry, you are not!

This statement really brought me some comfort. I am still waiting for my future spouse. However, is this statement really true? I guess there is just something in me that makes me worry if God wants me to stay single. But I really have a desire to get married and start a family.

Amen brother. Love your article :)

I have a question, I was attracted to a guy in my church for a long while now but thought he was out of my league. Sometime in the beginning of this year the very guy that I was attracted to I began to see at my gym. I would see him in passing but never initiated a conversation. Then in late April, this guys approached me and began helping me out with one of the machines I was using. We conversed for a little while and ended with him extending his help anytime I needed. That day I spoke to my sister and informed her I found my husband. I felt like God was showing me this guy for a reason. We began to workout at the gym together and less then a month later this guy had my number.

We began talking on the phone for hours. We were getting to know each other. We talk about christ, our spiritual life, and anything topic. We hungout for the first-time going hiking after the gym then later on going to get milkshakes. I would sometimes doubt this man was attracted to me even though my friends and family thought he was. We hung out on occasions at my place with no sexual activities occuring just friend's sharing experiences with each other and spending time. In august, I informed thia guy that I liked him and I received the response that "I could not like him because we are friends" it hurt my feelings. He looks at me as a good friend. This guy have since been still calling me and wanting to hanging out. I found out that he has this girl that he is off and on with, and this female is back in his life. I started to distance myself from him but he continues to call and tries to develop our friendship.
I'm so confused I felt like this guy and I have a connection. I thought that God had place him in my life, now the vary guy that I like looks at me as just a good friend. I have been placed in friend zone. I really want to move on but there is a part of me that still hopes/ thinks things will work out for my favor. However I don't want to stick around and end up getting hurt. I have been praying for God's will to be done in this situation. I just don't know what to do. Do I walk away or do continue to allow our friendahip to grow. My feeling are there and I claimed this man the day I meet him . I just want affirmation and confirmation that God's will is for this man to be in my life but it's not the timing cause he is still working on both of us or affirmation and confirmation that this is not the person that's meant to be in your life so accept it. I'm just a girl that's looking for help in either moving on or sticking it out. I know i don't have to chase what God has for me, so I just want to know if this guy is truly for me or not. I know God's timing is perfect and I need to be patient and wait but I don't want to continue in this friendship while I have feelings for this guy and end up hurt. Any input, suggestions, or comments would be helpful. I miss him when I don't talk to him for days because I try to avoid his calls to help me move on but then I don't want to stick around and get hurt

Confused girl!

Hello Benjamin. Thanks for this great post aabout Biblical partnership. I pray that I will be as patient in following these advices. Mabuhay from the Philippines.

Thank you for this article. This article has enrich my knowledge and also faith. In my opinion though, God gives us freedom whether we want to pursue our future spouse ourselves or wait for it (that was the freedom of will He gave from the start of humanity). For me, the most important part is our state of heart whether we choose to stay and wait or actively pursue others.
"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." Mark 12:29-31

It is very hard today for many of us Good men looking for a Good woman since so many women today are very high maintenance, very independent, very selfish, very spoiled, very greedy, very money hungry, and very picky. That really speaks for itself why many of us good men are still single today, and many of us are Not to blame at all.

I just wanted to say that I'm glad that someone else has the same convictions and feelings that I do. I'm a 36 year old guy and I'm still waiting for that answer. God showed my future wife to me when I was still in the (girls have cooties) stage of boyhood. I was at a theme park with my school class and locked eyes with this girl. Everything blurred all but her eyes and I remember being told that I would marry her one day. I forgot that at times through the years but God Fathered me and led me away from potentially bad situations through the years and has led me to a place of the knowledge that He's kept me specifically for her. I'm not ashamed to claim my virginity or that I've never kissed anyone and never had a true girlfriend. God has guided my life in such a way that those things weren't even much of my choosing. God reminded me that He burned her eyes onto my heart as a reminder of that promise. It's not easy and I'm painfully aware of that "rib shaped hole" in my heart.
I am standing on His promises to me because they are too real to deny. I have two other times in my life that God has promised me things. One of them has partially been fulfilled and I'm still waiting on it's total fulfillment as well.

I am a solo mum became to know Christ after divorce. I thank God very much for His salvation even after me making such a big sin in marriage. I consider myself reborn in Christ and pray for a godly husband and marriage in which we can seek His kingdom together. But there are some ladies at the church have left me an impression that I shouldn't be praying for a husband since I have a child. Every time I ask them to pray for my husband to be they say my main duty is to raise my child not re marry. But I know I so desire a Christian husband. Then they ask me r u sure this is Gods desire for you not ur own selfish desire? I am very defeated. May our God bless you all.

Thank you Ben. Very encouraging. I will just ask God boldly. Like Joyce Meyer says in her book get your hopes up. Jesus asked the blind what he can do for him. He said Lord I want to see. He could have asked for sth else small like a meal or money. But his faith found favor in Jesus.

not to rain on God's parade here, but (yes, you've detected bitterness here), I'm still waiting for God's pairing me with His chosen partner for me at the age of 50, after many a prayer. Be honest, how would you feel if this were you?

Hey Child of God, relax, God would shock you, for the time you feel is already wasted, he wld shock you with mind blowing testimony of your match, dnt be discouraged, am forty One and it can be very painful n difficult but relax, he would restore all the years the canker, palmer, creeping, crawling worms have stolen. God would shock you. Your spouse would be worth the wait. Sometimes God has used this so called "delay" to rescue us from, death, divorce, physical n emotional damage, the least is endless . Do not despire, God would still showcase u and display you as his Trophy. Remember no good thing would he withhold from those who trust him . Just imagine how, Sarah, Abraham, Hannah, Elizabeth, Zachariah, the Shunamite woman, Rebekah must have felt. If God remembered these ones, then he would also remember u, dnt compare or be bitter. Our paths aint the same. Relax

Thanks for your blog, and I really hope you can give me some advice, as this last week has been one of the hardest in my life. It's also hard to talk to someone close to me about this as it seems such a long time ago.

In 2005, I had one of only a few profound dreams that I believe was from God. It was a book opening with the name of a girl I would meet some years later (the name was not common and this girl was the second I'd met with that name).

We first met by smiling at each other on a tram in a foreign city where I was studying. I just knew I had to talk to her and plucked up the courage to do so (completely unlike me to do that). Anyway we spent some months together and it was like no other relationship before or since. So many similarities, coincidences (including both spending our gap years in a remote African city) and that feeling that it was just meant to be. It was wonderful. We were both young Christians but I wasn't leading with my faith at the time, nor was I a strong Christian at that point. I was, however, never more comfortable with a person as with her 7 years ago, nor attracted to anyone as much.

To cut a long story short, I ruined whatever we had, through immaturity and naivety and unkindness towards her on two occasions. I thought because it was meant to be I didn't have to work as hard for this relationship as I should have, and therefore pushed her away. I was 23 and have regretted my actions ever since. And I've been lonely ever since.

She got married last week. And I've barely slept. I have this incredibly strong sense that she was the girl I was meant to marry but I ruined it. I've not met anyone that's impacted me like her, even though for long periods of time I've not thought of her, and I've gotten on with my own life.

My question is this. Is it possible she was the one? Because of my sin and mistakes could God have taken her away from me and provided someone better for her, to then leave me alone never to meet another girl that could mean what she meant to me?

I know it sounds pathetic but that's just my reality right now. I'm heartbroken and feel completely dead because of this.

Thanks in advance for any advice you could give, it's appreciated!

Your article truly blessed me. I totally agree and am in preparation myself as a women. The Lord shared with me who my spouse was about 6 years ago. Even though i met him it wasn't time yet. The Lord still wanted to prepare and mature us both till the appointed time for a friendship/relationship. Another thing I believe God loves friendships,too many people jump in relationships but never have a foundation of friendship. So until the Lord gives the green light I pray for him,diligently in the spirit not what my flesh desires,but what the Spirit of God desires me to pray into him. I believe at times people need to be prayed through or into where and Who God wants them to be before He releases them into ministry/marriage. Bottom line, in singleness, waiting is a time of preparation and prayer for the spouse coming and future marriage/ministry together. Make sure the Foundation is solid in prayer before the marriage and there won't be a divorce.

This article is likely more true than the human intellect can digest or comprehend. Benjamin, if you're reading this, try to understand that the insight The Creator has blessed you with is not for everyone. In other words... You may have been given a secret. The heavenly Father makes some for an honorable use and some for a dishonorable use. He The Potter chooses. Romans ch 9. I've seen a few of the comments, and honestly, few of them grasp the depth of the truth that has been revealed to you. Marriage is sacred, holy, eternal, spirit and it is not conceivable to the current world view of mankind. Which is obvious based on divorce statistics and the Many horrors in relationships today. Yes. You are correct, not only is God a match maker, He is THE matchmaker... God ofcourse is neither male or female but God is Spirit, love. In The Creator union is real and true marriage is created in The Father eternal... In other words, yes predestined. Unfortunately many would be life long mates find out at the very end of their earthly lives just how serious their union with another really is and was... It usually happens after divorce and or on the death bed. The eyes are opened that they were truly one with that person who loved them and loves them beyond the limits of human imperfections. God basically opens the mind and heart to see the deeper reality. The goal should be to awaken before death or divorce and EVEN before meeting that soul you are already destined to! Again... I can't over emphasize it... The truth is not for everyone, remember... God MADE The Pharaoh's HEART obstinate. That is awesome and frightening that our Creator chooses who will love Him and who will obey and live! Free will is very very relative. No different than the limit of free will you give to a child in your home, they have SERIOUS limits. Be blessed brother. If you haven't met her yet by the time you read this... I'm sure she is on her way. I was supposed to tell you this! If you're with her... Love her deeply with God's spirit even through her darkest hours. She IS You!!!
C.R. Jones
Reflections of Light
Poetry on Amazon

Sometimes God does say here is your job but sometimes He asks us to apply first and then tells us. If you think you are called to marriage I don't think the answer is to never date.

Dating can be a good thing. It is more honest then just friendship and it teaches us how to relate to the opposite sex. It can be done in a pure fashion. I have learned things about myself that will make me a better marriage partner.

I know a case where a girl meet a guy. Because she had dated his best friend for a couple of months The best friend basically said you are two religious for me (won't sleep with me). I think you should date my friend. And the way he described friend earlier she thought so too. She met him later. Another case of a guy went up to a girl to ask her to dinner after Church. She said I have a boyfriend but I have a friend....He met said friend and was told by God that is her after the first date.

In both cases the people were following Christ. But they were open to others.

I don't think the answer is never dating and it is possible God is waiting for you to actively start getting to know the Godly women He placed in your path.

The girl met the best friend because her ex set them up on a blind date

I'm 28 yrs old and a no boyfriend since birth. I know i could have had a bf if I wanted to, but I felt like something has been hindering me to have one, something has been keeping me from those who take interest in me. Of course, my spirit would totally bother me whenever i would fall for an unbeliever, and i would certainly pray to God to correct my heart and keep from men who had no pure intentions and Gid would. I've always believed that God has prepared someone just for me. But the pressure of remaining single until now is killing me. Sometimes I would ask myself if I have been doing to wrong or have I been waiting in vain. I ask God if I was destined to be alone, but I feel bitterness inside me just by having the thought of it. I know I don't have the gift of singleness. So how should we wait in faith? I know waiting in faith is not waiting while doing nothing.

So I was dating this guy and he had been cheating on me for a while and i never thought anything of it because i was so wrapped up in the words "I love you" i thought he would never do that to me. my intuition told me time and time again there was something going on but im an anxiety ridden girl anyways and i try to look past my anxiety, because sometimes it gets the best of me. So one day i felt that God was really trying to tell me to let go of him so i spoke with him about it and he acted as if he didnt care so i finally broke up with him after i found out he was with his ex all weekend and lied over and over again.. I am young and I know God has much more ahead of me but im so scared that ill never let anybody else in now that i was in love with somebody that did me this way. Im afraid that ill push everybody away and i pray time and time again and i know God hears me but sometimes i lose faith because i get so down on myself. I guess i just have horrible judgement.

Well, it's 2016 and I find this article so refreshing! Thank you for taking the time years ago to encourage many. May God Bless you.

I have to say thank you for bringing up this topic, just by reading felt better. Trusting Him is the key.

Such a good write up on marriage and waiting on God. In this fast phased world trusting and waiting on God for is not on most peoples list.I believe what you say here is true. Hope you find your God given other half very soon. kudoos,God bless you.

It has been 3 years since I began praying to God to bring a Christian man into my life after
A long marriage that ended in adultery and porn addiction, then divorce. There has been any good result. Being forced into singlehood, I want the same things Christian wives have and want when they were singles themselves. I have the same desires as they do. I do not understand God nor scriptures quoted on marriage. I have not seen them proved true unfortunately. Of course I am lonely and depressed. Being sexually pure without an end in sight is not an encouragement either. Men seldom remain sexually pure or are into porn. God putting desires in women unable to be fullfilled makes no sense. Christian men seldom attend church and will not pursue Christian as they do not find them desirable. Without God's intervention, we are truly on our own. Women are told not to pursue men either. Why won't God act? No wonder women begin making effort and accept the advances of non believing men. No one wants to remain unchosen. I am not seeing a God helping women accomplish what he called good in Genesis. A loving God would use his unlimited power to rectify this if he really is unchanged or remove desires that will not be fulfilled. I am not seeing the power of prayer at all, but a disinterested God. This is very important to women, if he withholds help, they will give up and drift away. Just a matter of time.

Nice 1. There are no two women in life ideal for a man to have as a wife. A man is designed to recognize the true woman for him to have as a wife. And before such a man will come to that life transforming decision, he must first understand who he truly is, his personality, believes, values and purpose in life and most especially what it is he truly desires in a wife. Thorough knowledge of these will help him recognize his ideal woman when he sees her. Adam knew himself and was able to identify Eve as a like being. Truly you are not alone in this world, you had a partner, the ability to see and recognize the true one is through the help of the spirit of God. Don't try to be led by your canal eyes and mind, you may end up marrying someone who will frustrate the hell out of your life or someone you will make life a living hell for. Know yourself then you will know the right woman for you.

11 years of waiting...God is amazing. When you least expect it,you will come in the presence of what you asked for. God says ask, and you will receive if you believe. If might not look like what you had in mind. Might not be the age or color or the body build you were expecting but when God shows up,he shows off. Now trust me when I say,I heard all the wrong and right voices tell me God doesn't send your spouse to you,you have to get up and make an effort.I wasn't looking when I came across my answer.It was me and God together facing this world.I was focused on getting myself in shape and then all of a sudden I was face to face with a love I could never describe because God never said this was the one. Somehow I knew he was because of what The Lord implanted in me. I had a couple experiences in my past thinking this or that one was the one. The devil is a liar.Just know,The God we serve is a supernatural God. Take the limits off of him. Now don't be assuming God will send him to your front door if you don't ever get up to answer it. Work on yourself first.Dont let marriage be your idol. Let God be your number one in your life. He will give you the desires of your heart. It might not be on your timetable or what you created how it will happen in your mind. Just know if God can do it for me when I can be a Peter one day and a Thomas the other,he can do it for you.Trust God and know the longer you focus on what you don't have and not on what you do...it might take a little longer. Let God work on you and your other... I can promise you, he's a good father. We know not what we pray for so just be sure you are 100% positive this is what you are wanting because if you ask you will receive,only with belief.

Hello Benjamin! I just came across your blogs and I want to say you are very wise. God has blessed you with wisdome. As I'm reading through some of the comments my response to some of the questions would probably tore someone apart; however, when I read your replies, I say to myself this kid is so wise cause your response are totally unexpected from how I would approach a comment.

Are you married yet?

What happens if your a Good guy that happens to have very bad luck with women? I am one of many Good guys out there which i will speaks for others as well that Don't have Good luck with women at all unfortunately. I have friends that i know too going through the very same thing right now. Today Most women are very Picky when it comes to finding Love since many of them are looking for Guys with Mega Bucks since so many women have become very Greedy and Selfish over the years, especially the ones that are making a Six Figure Income since it is all about Money for them. I could care less how much a woman makes when i would be very happy to have a Good woman that could just Accept me for who i am which would be Great for me,

I'm 35 and still waiting so please pray God sends her soon I know God knows I need her soon.

Thanks, I'm really encouraged by this post and having read every one of the comments,I am reassured of God's plan for my life.I belong to a culture which see a man as unserious or irresponsible if he isn't married at the most by age 30. But based on my personal walk with the Lord,I know my God-ordained wife has a major role in the fulfillment of the final phase of my calling.I've been mocked, called names and intensely put under pressure by friends and colleagues but I'm still trusting God having kept myself from defilement for the most part of my 35 years on earth.I've had tempting encounters and near-miss experiences but the Lord has seen me through it all. I just want to end by saying that regardless of your life experiences, God is always faithful to those that trust and depend solely on Him. (1st.Thess.5:24;2nd Thess.3:3a)

God is preparing you for something amazing my friend, don't be discouraged. What you have written has affected many lives in a positive way, including my own. I pray that God brings you some one very soon. Stay the course!

You're so young but understand things some older people have doubts about. Your article has encouraged me and opened my eyes to what God had been trying to tell me for several years. Thanx for this and may God bless you with a wife you'd like.

I believe in your post. There is always Jeremiah 29:11 for each one of us and all we have to do is just seek Him first above all and His righteousness and all these things shall be given unto us. ;) He knows the plan! The problem is that people are just too occupied with themselves and what they want and tried to rush everything, that they often forgot to consult Him. All we have to do is seek, do what is right and trust Him (not our own intuition). He will surely bring the two together, just like Adam and Eve, Rebekah and Isaac, Ruth and Boaz, etc. ������

Thanks for the encouraging words, I totally agree, I am 41 and still waiting, I had to end two courtships many years before, because the Lord clearly showed me it was not in His will for me. it was very difficult to end those courtships but I did it and now looking back it years later it was very good to do so. First of all I needed myself restoration and inner healing and had work on my own life and it would have not been good to marry at all. My faith that God will choose my wife and bring her on my way is growing. I have made the choice , I either marry the one God chooses for me or I stay unmarried the rest of my life. I do my homework which is praying every single day for my future wife. At the same time I am a happy person, I don't need a wife, and I think that is also important as a single person, you need to be happy with the Lords presence only.

Gee Wiz with the kind of women that are now out there these days even God will never give me the RIGHT WOMAN.

I love your article! Even though Im young I have had 4 relationships since I was 16. Always in relationahips. Im 26 yrs old now and Im single for first time, it s been 2 years already and it was very difficult at the beggining cuz I wasnt used to being single. But I met God like 3 yrs back and I decided to wait in Him. Not easy though cuz as you said in your updates I feel like everyone is in a relationship but me. I have heard about chat for meeting Christian partners,I know few Christian couples who met in tht way. What do you think abt it? I feel like if I use tht it would be like im rushing or doing things in my way. I know this is a difficult question but how can we know if we are listening God or our own desires abt this topic?. Thank you!!!

I fully agree with you.im glad I saw this article on your blog.it was very inspiring to me.God bless.

God bless you for this article. I find it so biblical. I am waiting on God for that wonderful daughter of Zion and I know God would meet me at the point of my need

Did you ever get married?

No worries, I am 29, single, and still waiting too. Just wondered if your prayers were ever answered!

I've been a believer since I was 18 but didn't get married until I was 35 years old, so be encouraged. I was actually 31 when I started dating my wife and we got married 19 years ago. Tragically, she passed away from cancer almost 6 years ago so we had 13 years together. I am single again but I know that God has another woman for me. What you wrote here IS RIGHT ON my friend and a great encouragement to me. I actually met my wife about 2 years before we even started dating. She was in a relationship with a friend at that time, but his life was an absolute mess. She was stunningly beautiful but obviously off limits because she was already in a relationship with him, so it never really entered my mind that it could be her. I had been searching and longing for someone for years and finally just completely surrendered it to God. It was during this time that unbeknownst to me, she broke up with him and then eventually started coming to my Congregation. That was when we started dating and eventually got married. I did have one relationship about 2 yrs after she died but it was a disaster. Since that time I have remained faithful to the Lord and completely surrendered my desire to Him knowing that soon he will fulfill His promise to me - AGAIN.

Glad I came across this today. Waiting on God is no easy task but I will rather wait than make a life time mistake. I have born again brothers who have come out to say I am the will of God for them but I feel otherwise as I have not heard from God or had any leading. I intend to remain single until I feel without doubt God is leading me. God bless you Schäfer

Thank you for the article, it gave me some encouragement at this point in my life. However, I can't help but wonder, how do I know if I'm missing out on an opportunity to be with the right guy that God has intended for me to be with? I met a guy a little over a year ago and he was everything that I look for in a husband. It was a part time job for me since I was still a student but since then I've worked hard to get that job so I can work in proximity with the guy. We stayed in touch from time to time but nothing serious happened. Everything seems to be working well, I got an interview for the job and I ran into him again. There seems to be some mutual attraction. But it turned out that I didn't get the job that I thought I would get and have to move to another state soon for another job that I got. I am very shy and feel extremely uncomfortable to reach out to him to let him know. I thought we'd have a chance to date if we work together or at least be in the same city. I don't understand why fate has to separate us when everything seem so perfect. And I'm also afraid on missing out on a guy that I am suppose to be with.

Actually, i so much appreciate your blog benjamin,i just came accross your blog this morning ,God has really spoking to me through your programme,and other peoples life experiences,i have come to understand that sometimes in our lives,God allows us to pass through some challenges in life,so that through our experiences and lessons many might be corrected and their wounds being healed.I also realised that we should not first depend on outward beauty when it has to do with marriage issues,but first consider the inner beauty of the expected partner,thereby trusting God for His divine direction for only Him can search the innermost part of man.In as much as we consider age differences in marriage,i think we should first consider about our destiny,our peace and what God want to achieve through us,The scripture says it is better to live on top of a roof than living together with a quarrelsome woman,because we cannot enjoy our marital relationship when peace is absent.NOTE,The foundation of every relationship will determine the duration,we shouldn't build our marriages on money,materialism,academic qualifications,facial beauty alone,but first on jesus christ the solid foundation and the prince of peace(john 14:27),God give all the singles the sustainable Grace to wait, for waiting time is refining time.i have a story to share soon.

Thank you. I can't help but feel relief and encouragement that I am not struggling alone.

Great article. A wife who has a relationship with God is a blessing to her husband. She is able to stand at the intersection of his awesomeness and ugliness, and still encourage him to "better his best." When life deals him a bad hand, she helps him to reshuffle the deck and look at the problem with a new perspective. At the end of the day, a marriage is valued by what a husband and wife are willing to sacrifice for it. 👩❤️👩💍

https://youtu.be/jkQDDlXpGLQ

Great article. A wife who has a relationship with God is a blessing to her husband. She is able to stand at the intersection of his awesomeness and ugliness, and still encourage him to "better his best." When life deals him a bad hand, she helps him to reshuffle the deck and look at the problem with a new perspective. At the end of the day, a marriage is valued by what a husband and wife are willing to sacrifice for it. 👩❤️👩💍

https://youtu.be/jkQDDlXpGLQ

I believe it is not Biblical for a young man to just wait for God to ordain the situation and everything will happen by itself, him not knowing how. In my oppinion this type of belief is why young women are complaining that young men don´t ask them out. Guys are so nonchalant about it, stay by themselves. And everyone is frustrated. Biblically there is a balance between doing (seeking) and waiting on God. The example of God giving the man a wife in Genesis is a great passage and you explained it well from one perspective, but also when you look at Jewish wedding, particularly at Isaac, he sent his servant to find him a wife. So for me it is more like evangelism in 1 Corinthians 3:6-7: "I planted the seed and Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow." or the Psalm about the builders who build the house in vain, when God is not in it. Besides that for everyone God works it out differently, someone doesn´t have to do much about it, and another one has to do a little more. I believe this article is more accurate about God´s way in finding a spouse: https://www.gotquestions.org/spouse-looking.html

I believe in dating. I believe while dating and living life that God will begin to reveal who your spouse is. Meanwhile have fun. I think Christians take dating too seriously because their is an "end goal" in mind. But dating is a great learning process. Now, I am not saying date with the flesh but with the mind. Go out catch a movie, grab coffee and talk about Christ, family, whatever. Go to a basketball game. Live! Find people of common interest and overtime it will show itself.

With that being said: I'm single and I only say this because I have been in "serious" relationships several times before being saved and guess what? It didn't work out. Why because I or he wasn't quite equipped for the relationship. Simple. Let's face it. God only gives us what we can handle. Funny things is people complain about the wait but the fruit of the spirit is patience.... um.... ok... seems like God has a area to work on still. Honestly, if we are practicing faith and patience any other area in our life and trust the Lord the feeling won't be as dreadful. And I am saying this because at one point I felt like I missed the band wagon on marriage... but God showed me something about marriage that caused me to learn to wait.

There is a man I am in love with and he loves me... but the funny thing is we refuse to rush to the alter. We are just going to see what God will is in our lives. Not that it's fully discussed that way but through not rushing things that expectancy is low and it allows God to work in our lives as individuals. Why is this so important? Because as Christians we have been in the faith for so long that we forget we remain a work in progress and our path ahead still remains uncertain. And the ideal love is built from not understanding the basic fundamentals of being a Christian but practicing them. Chronthians 13 is love and Fruits of Spirit is Love but the depth of a marriage is Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. While we get to know each other (almost a year now) we still date other people and we still practice our own walk in Christ. Sometimes our paths cross and others are meant for our own spiritual growth. Does this mean we will get married... No. on the contrary, we can simply be equipping one another with the wisdom of God and go our separate ways. He has taught me patience and understanding. I have taught him self-control and having a stronger faith. And did we plan this... nope. We just watch each each other grow. I say this to say: God has to equip you for marriage. Stop worrying about finding the other person and stay focused on the journey. Who wants to marry someone not ready for the road in Christ. I equate marriage to Christ selecting disciples. They weren't always at their best but the belief in it working and growing is the foundation and that can only be built in the Lord. I want a marriage where my spouse is not fearless but faithful through fear. Not perfect but not afraid to ask for forgiveness. Seek God first in all things. I rather find a husband who won't fold in test and trials but endure. And sometimes that has to be tested prior to marriage. A man who will be tempted but practice self-control. And I expect to do the same.

In conclusion, I am still growing. Instead of me focusing on how marriages were arranged in the Bible, I focus on the trials faced during those marriages and I ask myself am I ready for that. I want all the good times but I also want to ensure I am strong enough in faith, love, and prayer to be the support my husband needs. I rather be ready spiritually as much as I can because I have no idea where God will take us and what he may ask us to do. And ideally if Jesus was married, his wife would have to deal with his walk... would she have been strong enough to let go so soon? When that was the plan? Lot wife was disobedient when God gave instructions. Eve was deceived. Sarah grew impatient. Job wife became frustrated. Jacob wives journey with him. David and Batheseba lost their first son. Mary and Joseph had to hide away in manger. Ruth continue to care for Naomi even after losing her first husband... the oath was deeper for her. I look at these women and ask myself, am I ready? But there was something else I noticed about these unions: their husbands stayed and forgave. Adam and Eve took the consequence of their mistake together. And so did all the other couples. They were able to endure. Moses wife.... ijs. A life in Christ isn't always safe. Think about mega pastors and evangelist who travel rituals parts of the world to deliver the word. We pray for safety but we have the keep in mind that the journey may still be dangerous. Even with the simpler lifestyles, marriage has turbulence. Do you have what it takes? Flaws and all. That's why I rather wait. Hope that helps someone.

I don't know? I have been searching through all this re marriage "bits" without any clear understanding. I had an awesome marriage of 16 years . My husband died of Lymphoma aged 37and I was left with the 5 kids 12yrs down to a baby who was 2. Someone might as well have put me on a table and cut my heart out with no meds. Still to this day (9 years later) the sadness of the perfect "family" as God intended haunts me. Is it my fault? No. Was it God's will to take a father away from 5 beautiful kids so young. I wait for the "replacement" and live with the stigma of "widow". Often couples leave out "widows" due to insecurity and inability to accept the ugly of it all. I am a beautiful woman almost 50 and feel the prime of my life has been taken. I have chosen to stay single to raise 5 kids but the loneliness is debilitating enough to deem me useless for Gods work as I am at the point of exhaustion and I am disillusioned of the "nice" on any level of life. All I do is work to raise the kids. I had to chuckle when a comment in one article was stating what a Godly wife is supposed to do. They don't allow for the bread winner to be not in existence and maybe I have to wear both hats therefore feel like a machine with a flat battery. Can anybody tell me what a widow is supposed to do from a Godly point of view when she is left with assets (apparently blessings from God) and no assistance financially therefore no option but to keep working. For whatever reason I am the steward of this stuff and I think I probably scare men away most of which at church because they don't get my work ethic and commitment to my family.
Now that I have had a big fat vent. I am blessed, in so many ways and although scarred I am not bitter I just don't understand how you can have all the "allowed" things of marriage as beautiful as it along with as you said hard is and then overnight it is a Godly requirement that the switch has to be turned off and you "can't do or feel that anymore" , It may have been better to have never known as a virgin wouldn't Besides I would probably feel I was doing the wrong thing by my late husband if I was with another and God forbid it be not as good. I hope this is not to detailed but does the bible have anywhere where it says how a widow should conduct herself as I cannot find it.

Benjamin, again thank you God asked me to wait before I married in my soul-mate. I didn't understand it at first, but I do now. See I cut off all sex and all just to do God's Will and I thought that was enough, no God with deeper. I had to change inside and out for this man, I kept asking God was this man for me, and He kept assuring that he was. I think I know what the Father was doing, anything He put together has to last and my soulmate and I have issues(I thought he just had them) but then God started pointing out mines lol but my point is Yes I do believe God does give us mates when we seek and ask but we have to be willing to wait on God timing and not ours (trust me this part not easy, but it can be done) in closing, I decided to but my trust in confidence in the one who created me..Why? because He knows what's best for me...GREAT ARTICLE Benjamin

Just look how the women of today that have really changed for the worst of all unfortunately compared to the old days when they were so much better back then. Today even God doesn't have no control over them at all since most of these low life pathetic loser women just want to sleep around with all kinds of men all the time as well. And these women just want to party all the time and get wasted which most of these women will never be able to commit to just only one man anymore, and they just don't have any respect and no good manners at all when many of us good men will try to start a normal conversation with them. They will usually mouth off to us for no reason at all which i can certainly see that most of these women now have a very severe mental problem the way that they're acting with us men. And now you have all of these Career women making their six figure salary today which most of them really think that they're the greatest thing on this planet too. How very sad women are these days which back in the old days most of the women were the very best of all since they were the very complete opposite of what they're today. And i really do have to say that the women years ago really did put these women today to total shame altogether as well. And now you have all of these very stupid Reality TV Shows as well as Social Media that has really corrupted most of these women's minds altogether now adding to the problem why many of us men Can't find love today at all unfortunately. So how in the world would God be able to send many of us good innocent men a good Godly woman today anyway? That will be very extremely difficult since the women of today are quite different from the past. Women now just expect too much and they will never settle for less since most of these women today are very greedy, selfish, spoiled, and very money hungry as well.

Thanks so much for this article. I believe God's best is Worth waiting for but I am 26 and faced with a tough decision of marrying someone I don't share the same faith with. He is a Jehovah's witness and his entire family is. We've been friends for almost 8 yrs and ever since he proposed for almost a year now I still haven't been able to decide. I keep having this fear that our differencses concerning our faith will bring trouble. On the other hand there is this other friend who has also expressed his feelings for me but says he is not ready to be in a relationship. Both of them are very good people . my problem is that do I wait for him to be ready? What if he never does? Or do I accept to marry someone I don't share the same faith with, hoping things will change. One thing am sure of is that I don't want to convert into a Jehovah's witness. Now he seems fed up and doesn't want to talk to me even. I have prayed a lot about it and I still don't know what to do.... :(

Thanks Benjamin! I needed this for validation! :) Just ended a potential engagement a few weeks ago. He is a Christian, but wasn't as the godly man I thought he was, the talk and walk did not go hand in hand. I'm almost 40 and never been married, still waiting and trusting in God to direct me to the path to meet the man He created for me because I only want to be married ONCE. I am willing to submit to my husband IF he is able to do the "TALK and the WALK" and feeling the pain was worth it than to have to deal with even more in the future, better to wait for God's BEST than to ever SETTLE. The roller coaster of emotions and pain for the past weeks was GRACED by God for a reason and I found this online which helped me a lot to fully be at peace since I know SATAN enjoys making our lives miserable and I REFUSE to give in, I haven't and that's why I'm almost 40, so very GRATEFUL God made me to be such a STRONG-WILL woman and lead by example for other young women in my life! :)

"You need to trust the Lord to bless you as you follow his guidelines. That blessing will come in two major forms. He will either bless your union together (this may include waiting for awhile) or he will turn you away from each other according to his sovereign will. The Bible says that if we delight in the Lord, he will give us the desires of our hearts (Ps.37:4,Ps.20:4,Ps.21:2). That is, if it is within his will (1Jn.5:14-15)."

benny, this is marvellous. What can God not do for his children that wait on his guidance. People who are guiding themselves have the right to also comment to justify their lifestyle but please let that not distract or discourage you. we need to see more of these

Benny, wonderful article! Please tell us, what is the update on your journey?

Mai

Your faith is contagious and you're making productive use of your time while in waiting, I think that is key and the stage I've finally embraced. Accomplishing personal & spiritual goals, helps give focus to what's important and create the father daughter relationship. Pretty cool with a new perspective, can still be challenging but cool.

Can one wait on God to reunite and marry someone you've already had intimate relationship with in the past? Or does the intimacy from the past rule you out of God's plan to reunite into marriage (been you had it your way),but your heart desires that person.

This post is great and timely for me. It relates perfectly to what God is set to do for me NOW because it's my due time NOW. I thank God and I congratulate the writer that God used to write this post.

Thank you for the encouraging message it really means a lot God showing me signs and this is one of them! <33 :D

Thank yo for this article. While it doesn't answer all my questions, it does help. There's this girl I've had my eye on for the last semester (we're both in college), and I've just had this feeling down to the last fiber in me that I HAVE to get to know her. There's an undeniable force pulling me to her and I can't explain what. It's entirely new and I've never felt certain like this about anyone else before. Now, that doesn't mean I'm right, but this makes me more confident. I'm going to keep foraging ahead. Good luck to you!

Wow you have no idea the impact of post I have been smiling all the way indeed.....God....is theighty father and king of kings .why don't we rest in his love and promises as we are busy coin his work.in due time he will come and settles u....what a faithful father

Thanks for this article God bless.I am 29 and still single but sometimes the fear of hitting 30 still single comes up ones in a while.Since my teen o had always believed God for a Godly man.I have been in relationships were my heart was not at peace and I had to call it off. Is there still hope, I am almost giving up on love....

Can I use your article brother to integrate in my sermon? God bless!

I am 30 and still single. I always think to myself whether I should continue to wait for God bring me a girl or actively look for a girl. The thought crosses my mind what if I don't actively look for a girl and then I just grow older and older being a single person and by then it might be too late to find anyone. I have faith in God but does that mean we should be complacent, or should we have a balance between faith and action. I am confused on how to find a girl as a Christian and the emotional pain seems to grow as I get older.

Thanks for the encouraging advice. I have realized that in the process of waiting upon God for a partner, God is growing my faith in Him and teaching me to not to rely on my own reasoning and understanding. I also believe that we will one day have testimonies to tell to other single people about what we are going through now so that they will have hope and be encouraged. I will continue to read your blog and be encouraged.

Thanks
Matthew

Thank you Benjamin for your article. I am 37 yrs old woman. I dated twice in my life and both times I was hurt badly. Two of them dumped me for lame reasons. I was very prayerful about both while in my relationship. The second one just got married Jan 6 2018. He was in another country as migrant though we are from the same country. But his parents are still in the same country as me. He came back to our country last Nov 2017 to marry me. We were still in a good term until the day he arrived. Everything turn upside down when he arrived his parents' home. His parents arranged him with another woman. This arrangement has been made long before. But, he assured me that we will still choose me to marry. However, he later told me that he will obey his parents. We prayed together a lot for our marriage while we were dating and I was so hopeful and looking forward for our wedding. This really break my heart. I felt betrayed and cheated. And I even doubtful of his walk with God. If he is truly god fearing man how can he hurt someone like that. I have a question; do you think God remove him from my life? I feel like giving up hope for marriage. Heartbreaks are too painful for me.

God loves us so much that He allows us to choose whatever we want. The are always two plans your plan and God's plan. If your plan did not work its time you allow God to make His plan work on you...

Hi Benjamin,thanks for this article I really enjoyed reading this. I've shared your article with a few of my friends over a period of time. I'm really looking forward to you finding someone and sharing your testimony for all of us, I will be praying for that, God bless. Regards Conrad.

Hello Benjamin I am from India. 35 and still single. I was depressed that I don't have a person to hold my hand. Your article really helped me. May God bless you with a wonderful life partner.

Hey Benjamin,

Cool article! I am 26 and hopeful. I don't really know what purity feels like, because for 17 years I was sexually abused by my father. Sometimes that experience still pulls at me: What do I have to give?

Waiting for the prince to come and rescue me is most probably not happening.

But wait- didn't God always work in ways I didn't expect?

I've come to know that the Holy Spirit often works in a way that doesn't look as spectacular and extraordinary as expected before. Sometimes it's just a tap on the shoulder.

The other day I was chilling with God and he said: "Look at your life and how far we've come together!" and I realized how he had answered many prayers. Sometimes I had forgotten those prayers but he hadn't.

I am safe now. I am almost completely healed and I will be completely healed. And when I find my husband there will most probably be no firework, but there will be high fives in heaven for the two of us finally realizing that God is the coolest ever.

Hope on people!

Dada

By reading one of the articles here I realize that we are ignorant meaning not seeking right girl or a stupid meaning seeking wrong person. We afraid to approach a right girl cause we are wrong and afraid of being rejected. Dating and Marriage are not an information but a demonstration. We date and marry demons, diseases, sins, misery and divorce cause we choose it, we were deceived. Jesus is solution. If you are a woman or a man, Jesus have an answers for you, come here on YouTube and choose any prayer you need and watch and pray and receive - Curse Breaking Prayers - Evangelist Fernando Perez.

I believe the same as u benj. I'm also painfully still single. But I believe God has someone for me at the right time and I don't care what others say about meeting a spouse. I'll rather wait on God who does not dissapoint and he cares about me that much, that there is no way he'll ignore me. I mailed u but let me say this here.

Recently God has been telling me to praise him even if I dont see. Lift your praises higher than ur prayers. Also planting seeds. Speak the word. God says we are his dear children and all that belongs to him belongs to us. He also satisfies all our needs. One important thing you emphasized was that its a fathers delight to see the joy of his child. Eg. Of Adam being presented with eve.

Anyhooo little bro and all my single bros and sisters, be strong and do not fear! I know my Jesus and may he bless everyone of you desiring a spouse with the perfect one for you and may his name be glorified. Cya xx

Oh and God please can it not take too long. Who wants to be worrying about a spouse at 60!!! Hehe

Reading all this comments have been very helpful now that i've just broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months. he didn't tell me verbally nor did he text me to tell me that he is breaking up with me. this is after i found some signs of infidelity at his apartment on my last visit ( condoms,earings, bath towels). He showed no sign of remorse.I knew that he had two kids upon our agreement to be in a relationship. He wasn't married to the mother of his kids before they broke up, so he said. i had to find out recently on our 1st anniversary that his family and that of the mother of hks kids still recognize them as a couple. His mother's health was not good. He didn't introduce me to her but to his brother and cousins. I don't know how did his brother and cousins recognized his relationship with the mother of his kids but also agree on meeting me. I am so hurt. I prayed to God to reveal to me the truths about this man, every truth revealed was like a spear to my heart. I loved him. I loved him so much. How do I get closure and move on if he just went quiete on me like that. This is the 3rd time i thought I had found the one.

Dear brother Benjamin, May God bless you. Your article helped me to be more patient and to have complete faith in God. I had experienced lots of good things gifted to me by God through His grace even when I don't deserve His love. Still I become weak in faith time to time and seek for something to make my faith grow.
I wish that you get the best thing in life and become more closer to God and lead many people to God and help them understand God's love for mankind.

It is painful to wait when answers are delayed but we should learn to understand that God will take care and God loves us more than we could ever love our ownselves.

God has answered my prayers with your article. I have found myself awakening to the fact that my someone is missing and how I just want to help them grow in God. Especially this year, a good friend is getting married. It has caused a lot of doubt for me in if God will ever introduce me to the one He made for me. This was a direct answer to my prayers asking God what to do with how I feel. God is wonderful and I am so blessed to have read this, for in my waiting, I can have assurance. Thank you! God bless!

Thank you for the article. It gives me comfort and hope that God will show me the way and will provide when the time is right.
I broke up last month from a relationship of 1 and half year, because it was completely draining me emotionally and spiritually because of his lack of commitment and insensitiveness. More importantly, I prayed to God about this and God gave me an obvious answer that this is never going to work out.
Needless to say, I suffered a month worth of emotional wreck from this and slowly picking myself back up, and there is now a great sense of worry that i might never find anyone, and the wait is very painful, with the agony of not knowing if God will truly grant my prayers.
I know there are many of us out there, still looking, still searching, still waiting for the one that is provided by God.
Your article gave me comfort to know that He will provide and He knows what is best, and we are not alone in this search and waiting line.
I pray for the best for everyone here.
The search and wait is painful, but i believe that God is seeing this and will answer eventually.

God is a real super Asshole for not giving a good man like me a good wife and family that i always wanted to have since he gave it to so many others. Why not me God you moron?

I'm in the same boat as unknown. I'm 58 years old and every woman I've ever been in love with has rejected me. Is this a curse from God and why is He putting me through this? Nearly every friend and relative I know has been provided with a mate. All I've gotten over the decades is rejection. Why??????????????????????

At 48 I think it's pretty much a foregone conclusion that God is punishing me for something or he's just capricious because I am convinced I am at the point where I'm going to be a single, loveless, celibate monk for the rest of my life and into all eternity. I have to wonder why I've wasted my time being sexually pure all these years when it doesn't seem to have benefited me at all. I am angry at God that I wish I could actually give away my salvation because what good is eternal life if I suffer here on earth and beyond without what just about everyone else has, a mate. God supposedly said it wasn't good that man be alone but apparently it's good to him that I am alone. I once believed God cared for me but 48 years of singleness proves otherwise. I wish I could do what Job's wife suggested, curse God and die.

Fearest Benjamin,
Since I found your blog, it was actually in direct response from God straight to me, on a most certain miraculous way! And during my chosen prayer and fasting, adkias the Lord God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob but Most affectionately Christ my Lord and Savior! Your stories and words of encouragement with sacred scriptures really were on target and totllto touched my heart!
Though I had a Super Divine and real extraordinary experiences in the Spirit manifested in DIRECT RESPONSE to my specific requests for guidance, I trusted bevabec of the Powerful insights you wrote. But much time elapsed and 3ven though I stood in faith, I came to find that the man I Believed God unanimously communicated to me is His desire and plan for my life, I have grown weary. I Never Ceased to pray God's blessings in His Word by Acts 28:16 and Ephesians Chapter 1 and other appropriate scriptures, I fell so disheartened after Five years of being sweet, generous and putting God First, this man disappeared and then returned 10 months later to find that he came back appreciative and freshly more attentive but all of a sudden, out of the clear blue sky, he went right back to pulling every attempt to accomplish one thing. Telling me sex is very important and he wanted to bring his bag to stay and try out living with me because he said relationships dhoush be tried on to see if Eric get on each other's nerves!
I gently tried to lead him to faith in God but he got mad because I didn't like how rough he would be in his heat of passion. I said intimacy is important but it needs to be in the right place under the Will of God but after a long silence I backed off.
I've been praying Nonstop morning noon and night for Christ's Holy Spirit to fill him and protect him from all the temptation surrounding him but IveI become so discouraged. He ignored me since and I wonder if God is actually working in his life to follow the path of Christ. I can't help but have concern for my own life and Spiritual connection with God and my hopes are just shattered. Devastated and with anxiety form life ImI afraid I've grown weary.
Please advise with your spiritual insight, Benjamin! I'm tired and I fear I doing the countless sign, synchronistic events and what I once believed to be continuous assurance that this was God's Will.
Your insight and scriptural knowledge is Much Appreciated.

Bejamine, there are some typos is the comment above. I am not referring to an Eric in my message. There are a few more typis I hope you will discernment!
- Chanda

I'm encouraged through your word. God bless you

Hello,
I am puzzled by my answered prayer. I have been married for 15 years and wanted to get out of it because of repeated adultery and lack of repentance of my spouse. While I am praying for separation and divorce I had asked the Lord to give me a wife who loves him and live with me in peace and harmony. The lord had showed me a woman in my vision while sleep. I saw this woman in a church in another town where I started living in the process of separation. Since I am still not legally divorced, I couldn't connect with this woman and talk about marriage.
I returned to my hometown to take the next step (selling our home) to divorce my wife. I thought this is the right time to connect with the woman in the other church who happen to be widowed and had some attraction to me. I called her a year after and asked her if she would marry me and told her about the Lord's vision. She responded saying she has never prayed to remarry and wouldn't marry a man of my background (divorced, social status, etc.).
How do I process this?
Is she rejecting the Lord's instruction to marry me?
Does the Lord have another spiritual purpose?
Please let me know what the Jesus reveals to you.
M.B.

So excited to see all your years of patiently waiting and trusting the Lord was finally rewarded Ben! Gives myself a lot of hope in my walk of singleness to remain faithful and patient. I'm in the same boat you were in, at 25 it seems like everyone I know is married and having kids, it eats at my heart. But, I know the Lord has a plan that I can't see and remaining faithful to Him is the most honoring thing I can do. And I pray every night that He brings a godly woman into my life. Thank you for encouraging testimony and wisdom Ben!
-Josh-

Great article! I definitely know the pain of my own ways and know how I just don't seem to know how to choose the right one. It has taken me till the age of 37 to finally humble myself and say I am going to allow the Lord to lead me to who He has for my life. I will trust Him in ALL my ways and stop leaning on my own understanding. The thing is you can tell people the advice you give in this article every day but until a person learns through experience its very hard to accept. I would have told you its completely foolish in my early twenties to wait for my spouse. Much heartache and many failed attempts later I can say this article is spot on. Thank you for sharing this.

Thank you so much for this article - it really encouraged me in a very hard, dark season. I'm 36 and still waiting, unkissed, never dated... I've been struggling to keep hope that God even had someone for me. Had they been the victim of an abortion? Or maybe I missed them or was one of the unlucky chosen to carry the burden of Matt 19:10-12... even some married "friends" were saying I should pray and ask God if maybe that was my calling.

This article gave me hope. I think I need to pray for new friends who have faith to stand with me that God DOES have the most perfect person chosen for me and will bring us together in His perfect time! God can do anything - move heaven and earth to bring us our spouse. Don't give up hope, keep standing in faith and seeking God's love for you and how you can love those around you while you wait. God bless you all and thank you again for this dose of hope!

God brings people together

Thanks for the beautiful update. Would love to know how you met your wife.

Thank you for sharing Ben! I relate to your story so much and have learned similar things. Sometimes, it seems like the closer you walk with Jesus, the more difficult life is, and everything seems to have to be a testimony. I am at the point of knowing there is no hope of meeting the right person apart from God’s intervention, and so I am acting out the parable of the persistant single. The waiting is hard, and it can be tempting to try to just enjoy life and quash the desire for a partner, but it’s just not possible and it’s not what God wants either. It can also be discouraging to see other people struggling, while others have someone dropped into their lap easily. But our faith definitely changes things, and I’m confident God is doing everything He can to prevent delays and to bring the right person. I have fears that it won’t happen for years and years, but even more than that I am sure that He is good and sees our confidence in Him. Thanks for the encouragement and I’m so glad to see God came through for you! I feel like God brought me to your article to confirm what He’s been showing me and that He really does bring people together.

This is so Awesome! I’m glad I’m not the only one that believes that God has someone very special made for you if you just wait on the Lord!

I didn’t believe in the one at first because I grew up thinking you gotta choose your partner, because people around me were doing that. But when I was 14 I randomly got a dream about a mysterious girl that gave me the most beautiful feeling that i have ever experienced in my life! But I thought it was too good to be true so I forgot about it.

Then years went by and I occasionally think of her randomly think from out of no where or I’d see things that reminded me of her. I still thought it was too good to be true. I then kept getting rejected and hurt by other girls over the years, but then I asked myself “What do I actually want in a partner?” Then I remembered the girl from my dream. I then thought to myself it was too good to be true that she exists. I can just imagine God face palming his face being like “When will you realize I’m trying to tell you she exists?…”

I then decided to find a girl that reminds me of her or at-least some things. But of course had no luck. I would get ghosted and stuff every time I tried. But then one day while I was at work I had enough. I then said to myself “I give up!” But then God gave me my first sign to not to give up and that’s when I realized “Ohh maybe she does exist”

There is a lot to the story but it’ll take too long. I’m 23 now and still waiting to see if she comes into my life somehow while I least expect it. I’ve been waiting for 2 years so far.

But I have a question. When you said you looked at your wife for the first time you knew she was your wife. Did she see you and thought “He’s my husband”?